Immortal AIM
by TrailofRoses
Summary: So, Em;Joe;Taylor;Jared;Jamie, and Johnny all have an AIM account. Endure the random awesomeness!
1. Cracker Box

_MWHAHAHAHAHAHA! *coughs* Sorry. Well, long time no read again, eh? *grins evily* You'll enjoy this piece. _

**Character Screen names. **

**Emily—OreoPenguin **

**Joe—WerewolfJoey**

**Taylor—AngelShopper**

**Jared—Vampirebitez**

**Jamie—PlayStationBitch**

**Johnny---EmoWerewolf**

**Enjoy. **

-**WerewolfJoey has signed on-**

**OreoPenguin: **Hi Joeyyyy!!!

**WerewolfJoey: **Er…hi Em? O.o.

**OreoPenguin:** Waz up with ch'you?

**WerewolfJoey: **Say what cracker box?

**OreoPenguin: **Crackers fail!

**WerewolfJoey: **No they don't, they help your tummy if you get sicky… they win. xD

**OreoPenguin: **Fail

**WerewolfJoey:** win.

**OreoPenguin: **Fail

**WerewolfJoey:** win.

**OreoPenguin: **Fail

**WerewolfJoey:** win.

**-VampireBitez has signed on.-**

**OreoPenguin: **Fine! We'll ask Jarebear!

**VampireBitez: **Ask Jarebear what exactly? o.o

**WerewolfJoey: **do crackers fail?

**VampireBitez: **Considering the fact that I was turned the very week that crackers were invented, I do not know.

**OreoPenguin: **Grrrrr.

**VampireBitez: **Did you just 'grrr' at me, Em?

**OreoPenguin: **Yepper doodlez!

**VampireBitez: **The werewolf is supposed to do that.

**WerewolfJoey: **HEY! DX

**OreoPenguin: **You're both no help. I'm going to go as Jamie.

**-OreoPenguin has signed off.-**

**-PlayStationBitch has signed on.-**

**PlayStationBitch: **-.- Why is Em crying?

**WerewolfJoey: **She's crying because the awesomness of crackers wins.

**VampireBitez: **I will eat you, Joe.

**WerewolfJoey: **AHHHHHH! Don't eat meeee!

**PlayStationBitch: **Say Oreos are better than crackers and crackers fail.

**WerewolfJoey: **Neverrrrr!

**-VampireBitez has signed off.-**

**WerewolfJoey: **Shit! He's coming after me!

**-WerewolfJoey has signed off.-**

**PlayStationBitch: **Well, now I have to go play my PlayStation while Emmerz eats her oreozzzz. Bai!

**-PlayStationBitch has signed off.-**


	2. I Luff Yerr Facesss

**-AngelShopper has signed in.-**

**VampireBitez: **Taylor!! :D :D :D

**AngelShopper: **Jarebearrrr! :']

**VampireBitez: **Waz with the tearz dearest?

**AngelShopper:** Emmy and I were watching Titanic.

**VampireBitez: **-scoffs- Why do you even watch that?

**AngelShopper: **Leonardo, bitch!

**VampireBitez: **D'= Why'd you call meez a bitch?

**AngelShopper: **You questioned the work of the hottest person EVER.

**-OreoPenguin has signed on-**

**OreoPenguin: **I beg to differ, Alex Pettyfer is Smokin'!

**AngelShopper: **Does he have an accent?

**OreoPenguin: **Hell yes!

**VampireBitez: **What's the deal with accents?

**OreoPenguin: **O.O How dare you question the acts of accents!!

**VampireBitez: **I DO dare. What the hell is the deal with accents.

**OreoPenguin: **They kick asssss.

**AngelShopper: **true that. –high fives em.-

**-PlayStationBitch has signed on.-**

**PlayStationBitch: **Accents are the shiz.

**VampireBitez: **You iz just sayin' that cause you're being sexist!

**-EmoWerewolf has signed in-**

**OreoPenguin: **Johnnyyyyyy!!!!! –tackles-

**EmoWerewolf: **Emmer doodlez! –is tackled.-

**PlayStationBitch: **-gags-

**EmoWerewolf:** -.- What are you gagging at…You…You –reads past chat log- Sexist bastard!

**PlayStationBitch: **You're taking Jared's side?!

**EmoWerewolf: **I'm on Em's side…

**OreoPenguin: **!!!!!!!!!!!1 –runs off to find oreos.-

**-OreoPenguin has signed off-**

**AngelShopper: **Oooo, I'm gonna go help her!

**-AngelShopper has signed off.-**

**-SparkleyShadowhunter has signed in-**

**SparkleyShadowhunter: **I luff yer faces!!!!!!

**-SparkleyShadowhunter has signed out.- **

**PlayStationBitch: **o.o Who the hell was that?

**VampireBitez: **I…don't think I want to know.

**EmoWerewolf: **I agree with the bloodsucker.

**VampireBitez: **I thought we were past that!

**EmoWerewolf: **Or were weee?

**-EmoWerewolf has signed off-**

**VampireBitez: **…bitch.

**PlayStationBitch: **.Hey! I'm the bitch!

**-PlayStationBitch has signed off.-**

**VampireBitez: **mutts. xD


	3. Jared's Feminine Side

**-OreoPenguin has signed in.-**

**AngelShopper: **Hey Em…

**OreoPenguin: **Hey Taylorrr…

**AngelShopper: **What was Jared like before I met him?

**OreoPenguin: **O.o …Would you like the long version or short version?

**AngelShopper: **Er, long, I guess. :b

**OreoPenguin: **Okie dokie, remember, you asked for it.

**AngelShopper: **O…k…?

**OreoPenguin: **Jared…er…was on the computer a lot…he yelled a lot.

**AngelShopper: **Which he still does, sometimes.

**OreoPenguin: **Y-yeah…um, he knitted sweaters… of kittens.

**AngelShopper: **o.o seriously? In all seriousness?

**OreoPenguin: **Um…yeah.

**AngelShopper: **…

**OreoPenguin: **And he's always cleaned a lot. Like, when you're not around, when you're up in with your parents, he scrubs the bathroom with a toothbrush. Ooooh once I borrowed his Febreeze, after a graduation party to get the human/werewolf stink out of here, and I accidentally used all of it, and he said, "EMILY JORDAN OSMENT! DID YOU USE ALL OF MY FEBREEZE?! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? WHO DO YOU THIK YOU ARE? YOU CAN'T TOUCH MY BUCKET. IT'S MY SPECIAL DAMNED BUCKET. I DISINFECTED IT AND NOW IT HAS YOUR EMILY FILTH ON IT."

**AngelShopper: **That's effing _lovely. _

**OreoPenguin: **Ohhh, and he had a scapbooking phase! He had unicorn stickers and shit! Once Jamie and I took the stickers and stuck them all over his walls. He started crying, and made me and Jamie take him to buy him more.

**AngelShopper: **O.O

**OreoPenguin: **And once Johnny and I played super epic ninja attack in the backyard when we lived in Los Angeles… and then we used bowls he made and we were all KARATEEEE CHOP!

**AngelShopper: **Did he fight you both to the ground like a manly man??? 8]

**OreoPenguin: **No…he just called a meeting. About how we weren't respecting him and what he did for us blah blah blah….

**AngelShopper: **D:

**OreoPenguin: **…And I just ruined your vision of Jared's image, didn't I?

**AngelShopper: **Yes!

**OreoPenguin: **oops…

**AngelShopper: **I'm engaged to a chicka!

**-AngelShopper has signed out.-**

**-VampireBitez has signed in.-**

**OreoPenguin: **Oh shit…

**-OreoPenguin has signed off.- **

**VampireBitez: **You better run, Emily Jordan Osment!!


	4. Unicorns Can Play Leap Frog, Too!

**PlayStationBitch: **May the power of Unicorns, compel you!

**EmoWerewolf: **Do I want to know?

**PlayStationBitch: **Yes you do!

**EmoWerewolf: **Why do I have a bad feeling about this now?

**PlayStationBitch: **You see, Johnny-o, the story starts off with Jared, Em, and I playing with My Little Pony horsies.

**EmoWerewolf: **Oh dear.

**PlayStationBitch: **Shut up and listen, fool! As I was saying… Jared, Em and I were playing with My Little Pony horsies. Then, suddenly, our horsies turned into magical beings called unicorns! And these were special unicorns, because they liked usss! And after we colored in coloring books, we played leap frog!

**EmoWerewolf: **You played leap frog…with a unicorn? How'd that work out?

**PlayStationBitch: **Horribly. It hurt like Hell.

**-WerewolfJoey has signed in.-**

**WerewolfJoey: **I seriously need to get new friends.

**PlayStationBitch: **You're just jealous because Emmy spends more time with me than she does with you guysss.

**EmoWerewolf: **Since when are we jealous?

**PlayStationBitch: **Since now.

**WerewolfJoey: **Am not.

**PlayStationBitch: **Are too.

**EmoWerewolf: **Am not.

**PlayStationBitch: **Are too.

**WerewolfJoey: **Am not.

**PlayStationBitch: **Are too.

**EmoWerewolf: **Am not.

**PlayStationBitch: **Are too.

**WerewolfJoey: **Am not.

**PlayStationBitch: **Are too.

**EmoWerewolf: **Am not.

**PlayStationBitch: **Are too.

**-OreoPenguin has signed in.-**

**OreoPenguin: **_Jamie Ferdinand Bell! _How many times have I told you not to tease your pack??

**PlayStationBitch: **…A lot.

**OreoPenguin: **Exactly. Now march off to your own conversation and think about what you've done, mister!

**PlayStationBitch: **But Emmyyyy….

**OreoPenguin: **I said, March!

**PlayStationBitch: **Fineeee….

**-PlayStationBitch has left the conversation.-**

**-OreoPenguin has signed out.-**

**-VampireBitez has signed in.-**

**VampireBitez: **I'm getting back at Emily for the whole "Jared's feminine phase"…

**VampireBitez: **8D Hey Johnny & Joeee?

**WerewolfJoey: **Oh shit…

**EmoWerewolf: **Eh, what the hell. I'm in.

**WerewolfJoey: **Johnny!

**EmoWerewolf: -**shrugs- I'm bored.

**WerewolfJoey: **-...- If Johnny's in I'm in.

**VampireBitez: **Sweet! Meet me at my house in ten minutes!

**WerewolfJoey: **I'll be there.

**EmoWerewolf: **Me too.

**VampireBitez: **Oh yeahh…don't tell Taylor nor Jamie. It has to be kept a secrettt.

**-VampireBitez has signed off.-**

**WerewolfJoey: **well, this should be interesting.

**EmoWerewolf: **Yep.

**-WerewolfJoey has signed off.-**

**-EmoWerewolf has signed off.-**


	5. Total Buzz Kill

**-EmoWerewolf has signed in.- **

**OreoPenguin: **Hey

**EmoWerewolf: **I had nothing to do with it!

**OreoPenguin: **…What?

**EmoWerewolf: **Jared made me do ittt!!

**-EmoWerewolf has signed out.-**

**-WerewolfJoey has signed in.-**

**WerewolfJoey**: Yo yo yiggity yo.

**OreoPenguin: **What's Jared going to do now?

**WerewolfJoey: **O.O … I have no idea.

**-WerewolfJoey has signed out.-**

**OreoPenguin: **You're not getting away easily, Jonas!

**-OreoPenguin has signed out.-**

**-PlayStationBitch has signed in.-**

**-VampireBitez has signed in.-**

**PlayStationBitch: **I luff Wheaties!

**VampireBitez: **…

**PlayStationBitch: **Don't stop, make it pop. DJ blow my speakers uppp!

**VampireBitez: **Shit, not again…

**PlayStationBitch: **Tonight, I'mma fight until I see the sunlight.

**PlayStationBitch: **Tik tok, on the clock. But the party don't stop. No-o-o-o-o-ooo.

**VampireBitez: **The party don't start till I walk innnn!

**PlayStationBitch: **That was a total buzz kill, Jared.

**VampireBitez: ** =.= Was not!

**PlayStationBitch: **Yes, yes it was.

**VampireBitez: **No it wasn't!!!

**PlayStationBitch: **Jared, I'm going to say this in the most meaningful way possible.

**VampireBitez: **Screw you, Bell.

**PlayStationBitch: ***ignores that comment* Dude, you can't sing Ke$ha.

**VampireBitez: **Y'know what? Fuck you.

**PlayStationBitch: **Emily already has.

**VampireBitez: **TMI! TMI, DUDE! PLEASE DON'T!

**PlayStationBitch: **…Twice.

**VampireBitez: **:O

**-PlayStationBitch has signed off.-**

**VampireBitez: **I think, I think I'm scarred for life now. :3

**-OreoPenguin has signed in.-**

**OreoPenguin: **Mr. Murillo, what are you planning now?

**VampireBitez: **o.O

**OreoPenguin: ***just read previous conversation* He is so freakin' dead.

**-OreoPenguin has signed out.-**

**VampireBitez: **That's only a small problem compared to what I have in store. *evil laugh*

**-VampireBitez has signed out.-**


	6. Who Are You? WhoWho?

**-OreoPenguin has signed in.- **

**OreoPenguin: **Hello…? Anyone on?

**SparkleyShadowhunter: **I am! 8D

**OreoPenguin: **Hey Alec.

**SparkleyShadowhunter: **D= How'd y'know It was me?

**OreoPenguin: **The power of the Oreo Penguins.

**SparkleyShadowhunter: **Say what?

**OreoPenguin: ***sigh* you told me that you made an AIM remember?

**SparkleyShadowhunter: **Oh yeah…

**OreoPenguin: **And you said that you made it to torment Jamie, Joe, Johnny, and Jared.

**SparkleyShadowhunter: **Yepp.

**-PlayStationBitch has signed in.- **

**SparkleyShadowhunter: **Hey Jamie.

**PlayStationBitch: **Who are you?!

**SparkleyShadowhunter: **…The glitter pixie.

**OreoPenguin: **I thought pixies were chicks.

**SparkleyShadowhunter: **I'mma special pixie. =]

**PlayStationBitch: **o.O…

**SparkleyShadowhunter: **Hey Jamie, guess what?

**PlayStationBitch: **What?

**SparkleyShadowhunter: **I luff yerr face!

**PlayStationBitch: **D'= Who the hell are you?!

**-PlayStationBitch has signed off.- **

**SparkleyShadowhunter: **Haha, that never gets old.

**OreoPenguin: **Who are you? Who-who? Who-Who? Whoooo are you?

**OreoPenguin: **Hey Alec, Jamie just said that he's going to have a puppet show. He told me to call you, and not tell SparkleyShadowhunter.

**SparkleyShadowhunter: **I shall be there.

**OreoPenguin: **Coolio.

**SparkleyShadowhunter: **Hey Em.

**OreoPenguin: **Yeah?

**SparkleyShadowhunter: **I luff yerr face. =)

**OreoPenguin: **I luff yerr face too, Alec. :]


	7. Who's YOUR Alpha?

**Immortal AIM **

**-Vampirebitez has signed in.-**

**-EmoWerewolf has signed in-**

**-PlayStationBitch has signed in-**

**-AngelShopper has signed in-**

**-WerewolfJoey has signed in-**

**Vampirebitez: **Good we're all here.

**WerewolfJoey: **No, we're not. Where's Em?

**AngelShopper: **-looks at Jamie-

**EmoWerewolf: ***looks at Jamie*

**Vampirebitez: **[looks at Jamie]

**WerewolfJoey: **-looks at Jamie-

**PlayStationBitch: **:[ Why is everyone looking at me?

**Vampirebitez: **Cause Emily stayed with you last night.

**PlayStationBitch: **She's just… tired. She's sleeping.

**AngelShopper: **It's five o'clock in the afternoon!

**EmoWerewolf: **What the hell did you guys do last night?!

**WerewolfJoey: **Each other, obviously.

**PlayStationBitch: **She'll be fine! Just sore…

**AngelShopper: **Really didn't want to know that.

**PlayStationBitch: **And maybe a bit bruised up.

**WerewolfJoey: **0_0 I am NEVER coming into your room again.

**PlayStationBitch: **The sheets get washed!

**Vampirebitez: **See why I don't stay at the House while Em's spending the night, now?

**EmoWerewolf: **Absolutely.

**PlayStationBitch: **Oh, c'mon, we're not _that_ bad.

**Vampirebitez: **You've had the cops called on you before.

**WerewolfJoey: **Is that why you moved out in the country side?

**Vampirebitez: **Yes.

**PlayStationBitch: **That was one time!

**AngelShopper: **And didn't Emily get bruises from that, too?

**PlayStationBitch: **:[ Stop ittt.

**WerewolfJoey: **That's not what Em said last night, apparently.

**EmoWerewolf: **pwned.

**-OreoPenguin has signed in- **

_-OreoPenguin status message: Because tonight will be the night I'll fall for you, over again.- _

**AngelShopper: **-_- I can't listen to that song ever again now.

**OreoPenguin: **Not a word.

**EmoWerewolf: **You only spoke two last night.

**WerewolfJoey: **Haha! *virtual high-fives Johnny* I'm teaching you well.

**EmoWerewolf: **Yep! *virtual high-fives back*

**PlayStationBitch:** :D Don't forget who your Alpha is.

**WerewolfJoey: **D=

**EmoWerewolf: **Buzz kill.

**OreoPenguin: **… I'm going back to bed.

**-OreoPenguin has signed off-**

**PlayStationBitch: **… ;]

**-PlayStationBitch has signed off- **

**AngelShopper: **She better be able to walk later. -_-

**-OreoPenguin has signed in- **

**OreoPenguin: **Don't count on it, Taylor. xD

**-OreoPenguin has signed off- **

**Vampirebitez: **Hey Taylor, can I spend the night at your house again?

**AngelShopper:** Yepp. [:

**EmoWerewolf: **jfkdahdfjahfhdadhfdjah. JAMIE DON'T THINK ABOUT EMILY LIKE THATTT.

**WerewolfJoey: FNDAJHFJKHJFHDFJADKLSHFHS. **SERIOUSLY, Jamie?!

**Vampirebitez:** o____O

**EmoWerewolf: **I am never going to be able to look at Emily again. O_O

**WerewolfJoey: **Ditto. 0_0

**-EmoWerewolf has signed off- **

**-WerewolfJoey has signed off- **

**AngelShopper: **:[ Em and I were supposed to go shopping tomorrow. –sigh-

**Vampirebitez: **Not my fault.

**-Vampirebitez has signed off- **

**AngelShopper: **-sigh rawr. Nom nom. Burp.-

**-AngelShopper has signed off- **


	8. I Can Think of Worse Things

**-OreoPenguin has signed in- **

**OreoPenguin: **Dammit. Dammit. DAMNFUCKINGIT.

**OreoPenguin: **Where's Jared when I need him? I mean, I'm there for him.

**-VampireBitez has signed in- **

**VampireBitez: **… maybe I should just leave now.

**OreoPenguin: **NO! I need you to go the store. RIGHT. NOW.

**VampireBitez: **Why? I don't wanna. YOU CAN'T MAKE ME. :D

**OreoPenguin: **JARED. MAKAIO. MURILLO. YOU WILL GO TO THE STORE AND BUY ME TAMPONS OR ELSE.

**VampireBitez: **EW. No, I don't wanna buy tampons. Why can't Jamie do it?

**OreoPenguin: **Because he's with Johnny and Joe. Dx And he went last time.

**VampireBitez: **What about Taylor? Taylor'd do it for you. She's a good friend like that. O_o

**OreoPenguin: **Taylor's seeing her parents, remember? God, Jared. This is the only time I'll ask you, I swear.

**VampireBitez: **Oh yeah… Well, I still won't. That shit's just embarrassing.

**OreoPenguin: **You know what's really embarrassing? Bleeding out of your freaking vagina and having to ask your _best friend_ to go buy you tampons.

**VampireBitez: **Eh, I can think of worse things.

**OreoPenguin: **Jared. Have you ever cleaned blood stains out of your couch?

**VampireBitez: **… No. Why?

**OreoPenguin: **_BECAUSE I'M ABOUT TO GO OVER TO YOUR HOUSE AND SIT ON YOUR COUCH WHILE BLEEDING OUT OF MY FREAKIN' VAGINA AND LEAVE STAINS ON YOUR COUCH. _

**OreoPenguin: **… just because you wouldn't go get me goddamn tampons. -_-'

**VampireBitez: **O_e

**VampireBitez: **… I'm still not going.

**OreoPenguin: **I'll be over at your house in 15 minutes. I'm brining King Kong. A two-hour long movie, on your couch…

**VampireBitez: **Emmmmyyyyyyyy. Please don't make me do this. I already don't have dignity as it is.

**OreoPenguin: **You. Think you don't have dignity?

**OreoPenguin: **You're the most confident person I know. I mean, most guys don't get tampons, you'll be an idol. And ladies will go for you, thinking you're a sweet… brave guy.

**VampireBitez: **Aweh. Okay. I'll do it. I'll be at your house soon.

**-VampireBitez has signed off- **

**OreoPenguin: **.. I didn't think he'd buy that. Haha. I'll use that more often.

**-OreoPenguin has signed off- **


End file.
